“Emily, I have good news. The judge decided that Grandpa has to give back all the money he took from me, plus extra money to make up for lying and hiding things.”
“Does that mean you’re rich now, Grandma Kathy?”
“It means I have enough money to take care of myself and help take care of you and Mommy for the rest of my life.”
“What about Grandpa? Will he have enough money?”
Even after everything Robert had done, Emily’s question revealed the complicated loyalty children feel toward family members who’ve disappointed them. She was angry at her grandfather’s dishonesty, but she didn’t want him to suffer.
“Grandpa will have enough money to live comfortably, but he won’t be able to hide money or lie about it anymore. And he can’t live with Sharon in the Florida house.”
“The Florida house is being sold and that money will come to me since Grandpa bought it with money that belonged to both of us.”
Emily processed this information with the satisfaction of someone who’d helped solve a problem that had been worrying her for months.
“Grandma Kathy, now that you have lots of money, will you still live in our house or will you move to a big fancy house like the people on TV?”
The question revealed Emily’s deeper concern that financial changes might disrupt the stability we’d rebuilt after her parents’ divorce and my separation from Robert.
“Emily, I’m staying in our house, but having more money means I can make some improvements, and I can help other grandmothers who might be going through what I went through.”
“What kind of help?”
“There are lots of women whose husbands hide money from them or lie about divorce things. I want to use some of my money to help them get good lawyers and fight for what belongs to them. Like a superhero, but for divorce stuff.”
“Something like that.”
Two weeks later, I received an unexpected phone call from Robert. I hadn’t spoken to him since the asset freeze order three months earlier, and hearing his voice brought back a mixture of emotions I’d thought I’d resolved.
“Catherine, I wanted to call before the final papers are signed tomorrow.”
“What do you want, Robert?”
“I want to apologize. Not because my attorney told me to, but because I need you to know that I understand what I did to you was wrong.”
I waited, unsure whether this was genuine remorse or another manipulation designed to achieve some purpose I couldn’t identify.
“Catherine, I spent years convincing myself that I was protecting you from financial complexity, that managing investments and planning for retirement was too stressful for you to handle. But the truth is, I was protecting myself from having to include you in decisions that would have revealed how much of our money I was spending on Sharon.”
“How long, Robert? How long were you planning to leave me?”
“I met Sharon three years ago. The relationship became serious about two years ago. The financial planning—that started about 18 months ago when I realized I wanted to divorce you but didn’t want to give up the lifestyle I’d become accustomed to.”
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