Why it hurts: It suggests the death was preordained or deserved—adding guilt or confusion to grief.
What to say instead:
“I don’t know what to say—but I’m here for you.”
“This is so unfair. I’m holding you in my heart.”
❌ 3. “At least they lived a long life / aren’t suffering anymore.”
Why it hurts: It tries to “silver-line” profound loss. Grief isn’t logical—no one wants to hear their pain should be less because of age or illness.
What to say instead:
“Tell me about them. What do you miss most?”
“Their laugh/life/love made such a difference.”
❌ 4. “Let me know if you need anything.”
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